There are two kinds of people in this world, those who let life bend them over a barrel time and time again without so much as a safe word to subside the constant humiliation and those who grab life by the balls and shove a finger up its ass to show it who’s boss. The former will stand back and applaud those ballsy scrotum-twisters while sucking down an 800 calorie burrito and throwing back the same piss-inspired beer that they have been drinking since high school.
I, for one, have been wined and finely dined by life’s generously-sized cock and it has not been an easy relationship. She has not been in favor of my alcohol and drug use, but at least she comes back home to give me a good punch in the jaw every now and again. And that is why I can’t stop loving her. Even though life may be kind of shitty to me, she still looks out for my best interests.
I am the only one who can fuck this relationship up, like I have with so many others. My thick skull tends to reject any sort of sound advice that a friend can give me. I am indecisive, yet very stubborn. Life tends to fuck with me in that way. Only I and my powerful, dark mind, can change my path. So, I write. It is what I am good at (or so I’m told) and it is what I will continue to do as long as life and I play the Dating Game.
i have been waiting for this to show up in my dash forever
THIS IS MY FAVORITE
This has to be up there with the funniest shit ever.
gonna reblog it everytime
Its been a year